Not Again... What is the Problem Here?

We went in for a normal check-up and Brad looked up on the screen in the ultrasound room and saw what we both dread seeing. He asked her about it because she had seemed so quiet. She said that's what it looks like I'm sorry to say. I just looked at Brad and said the Lord doesn't put anything on us that we can't handle, so obviously he thinks we are tough as nails. It was a blood clot right by our baby. Blood clots are my worse enemy but seem to love me with the Lupus that I have. Talk about fearfully and wonderfully made, I so have the fearfully down pat, not so much the wonderfully. She said let me call N.C. at the fertility centre and I will call you and we will go from there. We left so upset. She said these blood clots don't reoccur, so why in the world are they reoccurring? Is God punishing me? Did I do something wrong? What is the deal? Just one, I wanted a house full, but now I only want one baby. Is that too much to ask? A normal pregnancy with a healthy baby. Why do all of these drug addicts and teenagers, and everything in between have them? There were so many whys? and what if's? that were going on in our minds on the way home and the biggest was something happened that was prevented so why are you doing this again? Is it a cruel joke? What's the deal man? We were at a loss, but prayer is all that we could do. That's all we had left, so we begin to pray, and pray hard. Not that we weren't always praying, but it was almost a mission now. The doctor called that afternoon, but it seemed like an enterninty. She said the best solution that everyone had was for me to be put on bedrest. Bedrest?! Are you kidding?! Do you know how ancy I am and how I hate to sit still?? How was I going to do it ALL summer? How were we going to afford it? There were so many thoughts going through both of our heads and we were not happy campers. We should have been, we had a miracle baby on the way? But would we lose everything in order just to get a baby? We can't afford this?? It was going to be a rough summer. A long summer. But we will have a baby at the end of it so life couldn't get any better. The blood clot would go away and we would be fine. This baby was fine and everything would be fine. It was only the end of February, but we were going to make it just fine. :) God had our backs and was going to take care of us, we just had to ask of him and do his good will and it shall be received right?