What? I need help to have a baby?

It's hard when you see all of these girls and woman who are pregnant or walking around with a newborn. The more that you want something, and the harder it is for you to achieve it, the more you begin to see what you want and what you can't seem to get yourself. There is always a reason, a purpose, and a plan that God has for us all and I know that, it's just hard to sit back and wait for his plan, as perfect as it is, we are only human and want things when we want them and I was no different than anyone else. We tried and tried for children, something that seemed so simply, turned out not to be. Eventually we had decided that help was needed in order for me to have children so thus the fertility testing, treatments, and monitoring began. After a few months, everything seemed to click and I became pregnant with our first child. We had never been so excited and were thrilled beyond belief that all of that work finally had paid off and we, too, were going to get to experience a child of our own. We thought we were indispensable and creating the baby was the task, so now that it was done, of course we were going to share the news with everyone. Why wait? We have waited forever to get a baby, we have one so let the celebration begin.. Our baby was due April 2008. We had never been so excited, even to see a circle with a dot couldn't hold us back! Hailey was five and she seemed excited, even though she didn't really have a grasp yet on what was going on. We found out July 2007 and August, just a few weeks later, I started to miscarry. We called the Doctor on call, the one who had helped give us such a blessing, was now meeting us to confirm what we thought was the impossible. It was the hardest thing that I had ever had to do, Brad had a hard time too. I was feeling so many things. Anger, Bitterness, Hate, and everything in between. I had never seen the both of us so upset, why was this happening? What did we do? Why was God being so mean, we are married, have a home, vehicles, and can provide for this baby and are ready to with an extra room and everything. It was hard and there was a lot of emotions, crying, hurt, and everything in between. The doctor asked us what we wanted to do, Brad said it was up to me. I just wanted that dead baby out, I didn't care how, but quick and in a hurry. I thought that by removing that baby, I would be ok, that it would seem like a dream and nothing would bother me and I could go back to normal. Well that certainly wasn't the case at all. I was more upset, more empty, more mad than ever before. Of course I then see more of my friends and family with babies or pregnant bellies, what is happening? Well we both were given the option of trying again and the doctor would start me on the mixture of fertility drugs that seemed to work for me or wait, we decided that we wanted a baby and that the quickest way to forget and move on was to have another. It was still early, so it wasn't so bad, we both had alot to deal with and at our own time and in our own way, but we were ok to move forward.