Third time is Always a Charm.. Right?

Third time seemed to be golden. The doctors said that it would happen, we had the medical mixture and figured three strikes your out, so this had to be it, this had to be the perfect home run hit! We got pregnant and found out our baby was due in August 2010.. Brad and I even went to the beach, just to get away and have time to ourselves to really just focus on us on what was happening on why it all was happening so fast and what could we do to stop it. The doctors say that a few were normal and most woman had two or three and that was normal? Are you kidding? Well we were holding our breaths, we just had to get to 12 weeks, We were at 10 weeks now.. one more than last time, and two more to go! Come on baby, you can do it! I was so determined that this baby was going to work and that I was going to make sure it worked. Well it did! We got to 12 weeks and had our check-up. All was well and baby was fine! We were so excited! We made it! After all of the heartache, pain, and every emotion in between, we did it! This baby was golden. The doctors said we could relax, and we did! We told everyone! Hailey was 8 years old and she was so excited! She was too young to really grasp the first one, and the second one she never knew about, but the third she did and there were signs of it! She seemed really happy and said a brother was all she wanted and hoped that was what it was! Well things were going great! And then it happened... 12 weeks and a day or two, it happened again.. it happened so fast and in a blink. By this time, I was a nutcase! I was so upset and thought this was it, the doctors said to relax, what happened? What did I do, what can we do? There is so much that goes through your mind and everyone is different. I don't know if it is something that I was trying to hard for or if it was something that God just didn't want me to have. I will admit Brad handled it better than I and Hailey probably thought we were just lying to her. Kids don't understand, when an adult tells you something will happen, then it usually happens, so it was hard for us to tell her that there would be no baby. That the baby was too little and couldn't make it. She seemed upset, but I don't know if it was for us, or for her? By this time I was blaming God! He did this to me! He knew my heart and what I wanted and he was the one being mean! He was the one taking these babies from me! I did everything I could to have them and he was messing my plans up! My dreams, my life play book! We fought and that third baby was the hardest thing for me to do! I decided that I got more closure to have it naturally. The doctor said it would be painful, but I was ok with that! I needed to see this baby as if I was going to be the medical examiner and fix my problems and determine what happened because it certainly wasn't me doing it! I was doing everything right. I was not in the wrong, Brad wasn't either, we did all we could! It was alot different and alot more painful but I delivered it naturally. This time it was a baby, it wasn't jello so it was harder. I think in a gory way I needed to see that baby and needed to know that I was making babies, they weren't in my imagination, but I really did want that baby and it was hard to see the little bitty fish like creature, but that was my baby. That night Brad and I looked at the features, even though hard, we joked and said that we wanted a blue eyed baby and got a black eyed baby. Of course, they all were black dots at this point. We were now looking for answers! Doctors said after three.. well we have had your set number of three miscarriages, although babies to us, to you we have now met your statistics.. now fix it...